A soul-friend of mine sent me a quote today, about writing and God and being confused, and how sometimes writing about God IS about being confused. One of these days she'll show up here and share her own confusing God thoughts with you, because I think you need to hear them like I needed to today... I'm confused, too. Not just about God and writing, but because I'm in flux. And this blog is in flux because I am in flux.
And my migraines have returned, with such shocking full force that I've had to step away from the computer, from the kitchen, and occasionally from the children, just to catch my breath and close my eyes and pray it passes. They tend to come when I'm distracted and anxious, when the trees are sprouting new blooms and the seasons change, when the world itself is in flux.
Soon I'll be travelling, but before that will come some more visits regarding my visa, putting me back in a state of stress I'd so rather be living beyond by now. And I've spent too much time lately wondering what I'm meant to be writing about, wondering what this blog is supposed to be about, wondering what I'm going to do with this one wild and precious life? You know, besides mothering and wife-ing and carpooling, coffee-ing and walking and befriending, worshipping and laundering and praying.
But that's what life life is. It's not on the blog, on a screen. It's in the air, even if that air is making my sinuses implode right now.
So I'm off to spend these beautiful spring days in the garden with my kids, with my sisters, celebrating family and marriage and grace. And when I come back, things around here will look different. In fact, things may not even be here.
But I'll take you with me, and we can wander together.