"because it never was, never once, but then
how to explain that sometimes I can hear
the river in those first days of April, making
its way through the dusk, having learned
to speak the way I once spoke, saying
as if I didn't love you,as if I wouldn't have died for you."
from The Room in Which My First Child Slept by Eavan Boland
Source: Poetry (October 2006).
I have fallen in love with this poem. Go immediately to Poetry and read it in its entirety.